Lost Independence


Hearing of actor Mickey Rooney being abused just makes me sick. I wonder how I’ll be treated when I can no longer get around and take care of myself. Who will be there for me, anyone? It’s scary enough growing old, watching loved ones pass, your body deteriorating bit by bit. I think all of us have an illusion of ourselves. I think we visualize ourselves as we were in our “prime”, I know the mirror isn’t as nice to me as it used to be. Can you imagine looking into the mirror and wondering where you went? Who is this I’m looking at, it can’t be me. Can you conceive not being able to go to the bathroom alone or needing help eating because your hands are so unsteady? I remember watching my grandfather sit at the kitchen table with the local newspaper in hand. His hands trembled so badly. I, as a child, wondered if he could even read it. You lose all of your independence and truly need others. But when you’re old, no one wants to be bothered. This is when we are at our most vulnerable. I don’t understand how anyone can do it. How can they live with themselves? Imagine working your whole life taking care of and providing for your family, only for them to neglect or abandon you in your senior years. There are some lucky seniors who have family or maintain their independence into their later years, I hope I’ll be one.

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~ by Jessica on March 3, 2011.

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